Be careful when advising people to simply "blame" their kid’s problems on "learning problems". My kids is having much of the same issues [as the mom in your column last week], he's the same age and grade. But I see it as my lack of involvement is the real problem.
People have suggested that my son may have some learning problems, but I know this is nonsense due to his complete ability to do other things in life that "he wants to". He can operate a computer in the dark, if he needs to find the latest clothes or the latest skateboard, he has no "problem" then. My kid can do anything he wants when it is in "his" favor.
I suggest you tell that lady to be more active in the learning process, and not buy into the "learning problem” thing. Ask her if her kid gets things done when it's in the kid’s best interest? I bet you her kid has no problem then! Kids aren't dumb either. They pick up on this "learning problem" thing and use it as an excuse. One more sign that kids are "smart."
You make an excellent point and I thought I was clear last week. Last week, my words were, “If a child fails, it is an indication of either a learning problem or an active attempt to do nothing.” You have to rule out the learning problem because there are parents out there looking for excuses. Once you take away the excuse, you make more progress.
There are good parents out there with rules, expectations, and an understanding of their own children, yet their children are still failing. You sound like one of these parents. You have your child’s number, and you are not giving him wiggle room; yet he is not performing. There has to be a constant pursuit for change. Your child, and all children, cannot be allowed to fail. Failing an assignment is much different than failing a class. You cannot let a child flounder for whole semesters or years and still say they are learning from this method. I hope your child has no computer, fashionable clothes, or skateboards to turn to while he is turning away from books. Also (and this comes back to giving an excuse to kids, so you might not want to show him this comment), if your child excels at hands-on technical experiences but is not reading or writing on grade level, there can be learning deficits that should be explored. This does not mean that he should get away with it. His interests may have helped him build skills in one area while ignoring another, but he still needs to read and write. We all need that skill. If he needs remediation, find it for him while he is still in school.
